.... Another thing that's really cool to point out in Mark Chapter 1, verses 16-20, choosing fishermen to be his disciples, is that the Bible tells us that IMMEDIATELY they left their nets to follow him. Fishing was their livelyhood. It's what they did for a living. It's how they fed themselves. It's where they got their income. It was a steady job. There's must've been something pretty amazing; pretty alluring about the presence of Jesus. There wasn't a doubt in their mind of what to do. They didn't question and say, "hmmm... well.. I'll be leaving my job, my stability, even what I'm talented in... How do I know this will work? How do I know I will be taken care of?" They didn't need to. Their encounter with Jesus led them to drop everything to follow him... A true encounter will lead you to do that... And as I mentioned earlier - Jesus used their gifts for his kingdom. They went from catching small fish for feeding the flesh, to catching human lives for God's Kingdom..
I have found myself struggling... as a currently unemployed minister - I have questioned if I should have gotten a "normal" career many years ago. Something that plays it safe. Something that is stable, feeds the family, etc... It's hard for ministers to constantly change churches, jobs, salaries, etc, especially for the family (who may have to change schools and friends as well). Just as I question such things, the Lord leads me to a book like John Eldredge's Wild At Heart, which tells me that I am doing the right thing. It tells us to live adventurous lives for God. It tells us to do what God has called us to do, regardless of what the world says, or the institutional church says (it is dead for the most part... just continue reading the blogs I'm posting about the book of Mark - you will see what i mean.)
God calls us to something greater. The majority of Christians learn to "play it safe", including many churches as well. But God wants us to let go of everything we know and to be SOLD OUT to him, following him WHEREVER he leads us... Are we willing to live adventurous, sold out lives for his kingdom? - To stop playing church, stop being Sunday Christians, stop living lives of "stability" for a chance of something GREATER for God's kingdom? What about Abraham? What if he didn't take the chance of leaving his hometown on a mysterious adventure without much "security" in sight? What if he said, "nah, it's too risky... I'll stay here where I'm comfortable in a predictable land, predictable life, keeping my insurance and benefits and 401k in a stable job, etc..."
God has designed all of us for something... we know because it drives us... it's a passion within us... but it was given to us to use to advance God's kingdom. Sometimes we kill the dream by "reality" - or with fear of failure or lack of stability... We don't become crazy all-out who God wants us to truly be.
It's like God calls us to stand on the edge of a cliff to see how beautiful and crazy life can truly be... but we are afraid - afraid we'll fall... afraid God will push us off... and guess what? He does... he pushes hard if we dare stand up there and see the beauty of true life... and as we fall (and freak out), He shows us that with his Holy Spirit - we can FLY!!!! And it's the most amazing trip we've ever been on.
FYI - what we are called to, regardless of our gifts, is to radically change lives for Christ... That doesn't happen by playing it safe or living predictable, stable, secure lives.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
about the Bible
...I've really been digging into my Bible a lot lately. I've been reading it for years and have read it entirely through several times. However, there is a big difference between reading to teach (which was my fulltime job up until November) vs. reading to LEARN....
I feel like God has given me a fresh new perspective lately when I study his word... Things I'm seeing that I haven't in a while... It's becoming so alive to me.. and yet, I have suffered so much pain by the church, others who call themselves Christians, etc... Their pain infliction hasn't hurt me just emotionally, but has hurt my family, my finances, my reputation, etc... As I'm reading the Word, God is speaking and showing me that I'm not alone... A lot of the false accusations by the church, jealousy by leaders in the church, oppression in the church, religious biggots, unhealthy traditionalism, etc, happend in Jesus' time too... and even more so. It brought me much comfort. I'm beginning to see things more clearly - especially about much of our modern day traditional churches... And how they actually challenge the character and nature of who Christ really is.
Anyways, as I was studying the Word, here's some notes I made. Hope they make sense to you and speak to you in a fresh way... basically, I just comment any verse that stands out to me, what I feel God may be saying to me, and even ask questions or comments regarding to it.
Mark Chapter 1
Verses 10-13 says that when Jesus was being baptized by John, the heavens opened and the Holy Spirit came down on him like a dove. A voice from Heaven said, "You are my son, whom I love, and I am well pleased with you..."
These words were POWER words from the Father - words of encouragement and support. They were needed to be heard BEFORE Jesus' temptation in the desert. These words were given to encourage Jesus - so he could remember them - to endure the temptation.... Imagine facing such opposition WITHOUT this encouraging powerful pep talk from the Father...
Verse 12 and 13 tells us that he was then led to the desert to be tempted by satan. He was alone, stripped of food, friends, fellowship, probably even the presence of the Father. The desert is a place of loneliness. It's a place of dryness. It's the place where we are tested. Moses, Joseph, Jacob, Abraham - the Israelites - they all had their desert or wilderness experience. Most great people of God will encounter the desert/wilderness at some point in their life. It is the true place of testing and growth... some never make it out.
Fishers of Men - what's your gift?
verses 16-20
Jesus calls fishermen (his first disciples) to be FISHERS OF MEN. Why? Because God calls us in our gifts. He uses our God given talent and skills to do his will - to minister and to share his love and truths to others.
It would be ODD for God to take a mathemetician and ask him to write a book on humanity or love. No, instead, God would lead him to do something with finances, or some form of calculating. The Mathemetician would help people with their finances, or speak to those who understand his lingo. There is so much he can do with his gift - and God will call him to do something related to his talent or gift. You wouldn't see Dave Ramsey writing a book on the gifts of the Spirit or of Prophesy. He would write a book using his own gifting - he'd write one on finances...
Whatever God has gifted us in, that's how he wants to use us. Not everyone is designed to be a head pastor or a worship leader, but we are ALL called to minister through the talents, gifts, and abilities we were given by the FATHER.
~matthew
I feel like God has given me a fresh new perspective lately when I study his word... Things I'm seeing that I haven't in a while... It's becoming so alive to me.. and yet, I have suffered so much pain by the church, others who call themselves Christians, etc... Their pain infliction hasn't hurt me just emotionally, but has hurt my family, my finances, my reputation, etc... As I'm reading the Word, God is speaking and showing me that I'm not alone... A lot of the false accusations by the church, jealousy by leaders in the church, oppression in the church, religious biggots, unhealthy traditionalism, etc, happend in Jesus' time too... and even more so. It brought me much comfort. I'm beginning to see things more clearly - especially about much of our modern day traditional churches... And how they actually challenge the character and nature of who Christ really is.
Anyways, as I was studying the Word, here's some notes I made. Hope they make sense to you and speak to you in a fresh way... basically, I just comment any verse that stands out to me, what I feel God may be saying to me, and even ask questions or comments regarding to it.
Mark Chapter 1
Verses 10-13 says that when Jesus was being baptized by John, the heavens opened and the Holy Spirit came down on him like a dove. A voice from Heaven said, "You are my son, whom I love, and I am well pleased with you..."
These words were POWER words from the Father - words of encouragement and support. They were needed to be heard BEFORE Jesus' temptation in the desert. These words were given to encourage Jesus - so he could remember them - to endure the temptation.... Imagine facing such opposition WITHOUT this encouraging powerful pep talk from the Father...
Verse 12 and 13 tells us that he was then led to the desert to be tempted by satan. He was alone, stripped of food, friends, fellowship, probably even the presence of the Father. The desert is a place of loneliness. It's a place of dryness. It's the place where we are tested. Moses, Joseph, Jacob, Abraham - the Israelites - they all had their desert or wilderness experience. Most great people of God will encounter the desert/wilderness at some point in their life. It is the true place of testing and growth... some never make it out.
Fishers of Men - what's your gift?
verses 16-20
Jesus calls fishermen (his first disciples) to be FISHERS OF MEN. Why? Because God calls us in our gifts. He uses our God given talent and skills to do his will - to minister and to share his love and truths to others.
It would be ODD for God to take a mathemetician and ask him to write a book on humanity or love. No, instead, God would lead him to do something with finances, or some form of calculating. The Mathemetician would help people with their finances, or speak to those who understand his lingo. There is so much he can do with his gift - and God will call him to do something related to his talent or gift. You wouldn't see Dave Ramsey writing a book on the gifts of the Spirit or of Prophesy. He would write a book using his own gifting - he'd write one on finances...
Whatever God has gifted us in, that's how he wants to use us. Not everyone is designed to be a head pastor or a worship leader, but we are ALL called to minister through the talents, gifts, and abilities we were given by the FATHER.
~matthew
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Forgive You
You shoot your venom at me.
I watch as it protrudes from your insides,
Welling up in your soul, thickening your spit
To a cancerous swell on your tongue
And I am numb by the sting
You leave on me
Cursing my flesh by lying lips
As you sip deep sips of poison
From your stream of insecurities
And the need to feed your demon within
That preys off sin and pain
That stains your almost non-existent soul…
You still hold me a prisoner
By the careless words you spoke
And I soak in the blood of the lamb
To be set free and wash your sting from me
And you’re still trying to kill me
But I forgive you
I watch as it protrudes from your insides,
Welling up in your soul, thickening your spit
To a cancerous swell on your tongue
And I am numb by the sting
You leave on me
Cursing my flesh by lying lips
As you sip deep sips of poison
From your stream of insecurities
And the need to feed your demon within
That preys off sin and pain
That stains your almost non-existent soul…
You still hold me a prisoner
By the careless words you spoke
And I soak in the blood of the lamb
To be set free and wash your sting from me
And you’re still trying to kill me
But I forgive you
Love Reminiscent
Chocolate kisses in the night
Tell me you love me
As the twinkling lights
Highlight the glow of your
Rosy cheeks and strawberry smile
And for a while
I’m taken back to that place
Where we first fell in love -
Children playing grown up games
Defamed by adulthood
And child-like dreams robbed
Through the curse of Adam and Eve,
But still I believe
We can live this fairy tale life
If we try…
Escaping in the night
Below the mistletoe
And dimmed lights
Caressing and blessing our souls
With that same gentle touch
That took my breath away
So many years ago,
And I know you are the only one
Who could ever make me feel this way…
My childhood sweetheart,
My wife, my bride, the lover of my life…
Tell me you love me
As the twinkling lights
Highlight the glow of your
Rosy cheeks and strawberry smile
And for a while
I’m taken back to that place
Where we first fell in love -
Children playing grown up games
Defamed by adulthood
And child-like dreams robbed
Through the curse of Adam and Eve,
But still I believe
We can live this fairy tale life
If we try…
Escaping in the night
Below the mistletoe
And dimmed lights
Caressing and blessing our souls
With that same gentle touch
That took my breath away
So many years ago,
And I know you are the only one
Who could ever make me feel this way…
My childhood sweetheart,
My wife, my bride, the lover of my life…
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Love Lost
He clutches tightly to his coffee
Pressing it against the side of his chest
As if to ease the pain from love lost…
A sadness pours out from his eyes
While melancholic melodies echo
Through the room,
Bathing him in bereavement.
And yet, the room is alive with excitement;
Expresso fanatics make small talk
As intellectuals discuss Kierkegaard.
The soon-to-be lovers on his right
Giggle over a game of Chess
While neo-beatniks deep in thought
Write poetry on their laptops
In every corner of the room.
He notices not as he takes another sip,
Slipping deeper into his dereliction of love,
Wrapping his arms around his chest,
Wishing she were here to hold him closely…
He lifts his head but only for a moment…
Several of the girls around the room take notice,
Only to be rejected by his vacant eyes
And stone cold smile…
His thoughts are spinning now
by the mocha shots
Mixed with madness,
Sadness overwhelms him
And he slips deeper into his love coma…
For he is dead, after all…
~matthew eldridge
Pressing it against the side of his chest
As if to ease the pain from love lost…
A sadness pours out from his eyes
While melancholic melodies echo
Through the room,
Bathing him in bereavement.
And yet, the room is alive with excitement;
Expresso fanatics make small talk
As intellectuals discuss Kierkegaard.
The soon-to-be lovers on his right
Giggle over a game of Chess
While neo-beatniks deep in thought
Write poetry on their laptops
In every corner of the room.
He notices not as he takes another sip,
Slipping deeper into his dereliction of love,
Wrapping his arms around his chest,
Wishing she were here to hold him closely…
He lifts his head but only for a moment…
Several of the girls around the room take notice,
Only to be rejected by his vacant eyes
And stone cold smile…
His thoughts are spinning now
by the mocha shots
Mixed with madness,
Sadness overwhelms him
And he slips deeper into his love coma…
For he is dead, after all…
~matthew eldridge
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Soul Stealer
I feel your black murky fingers
Tugging at my soul,
The warmth of your lies
Surrounding me
With fictitious images of love…
I’m serenaded by smiles
Of faces unrecognized
And melodies of friendliness
That feed my need for attention,
Ignoring the core of my heart,
The warnings inside,
Because you’ve pried the door open
Through the wounds of my flesh
And caress the aching sores of my soul
With your poisonous lotion -
Setting in motion the numbing of my eyes
And the decay of my spirit,
Overcome with activity
Until I am no longer breathing
Or seeking, or living….
Tugging at my soul,
The warmth of your lies
Surrounding me
With fictitious images of love…
I’m serenaded by smiles
Of faces unrecognized
And melodies of friendliness
That feed my need for attention,
Ignoring the core of my heart,
The warnings inside,
Because you’ve pried the door open
Through the wounds of my flesh
And caress the aching sores of my soul
With your poisonous lotion -
Setting in motion the numbing of my eyes
And the decay of my spirit,
Overcome with activity
Until I am no longer breathing
Or seeking, or living….
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Preying Cells, Praying Hands - a poem
She covers her weathered face
With wrinkled hands,
Veins pushing against her flesh
With every flex of a finger…
Her knuckles ache
From years of hard labor
As she forces her hands
Through her hair,
And then back down on
Her soft, aging, cheeks.
Puddles fill her eyes
And drip to the floor,
Leaving echoes
Of melancholic non harmonic symphonies
Of swirling sounds
As the room spins around
Faster than her mind
And she is crying once more…
"When does this end?" she screams
Without volume,
But with every bit of intensity.
He takes her hand
And he feels helpless
As the preying cells continue
Their feeding on her body,
Relentlessly attacking their host
Because they can.
And I am on my knees again
Because it’s all I know to do.
~matthew eldridge
With wrinkled hands,
Veins pushing against her flesh
With every flex of a finger…
Her knuckles ache
From years of hard labor
As she forces her hands
Through her hair,
And then back down on
Her soft, aging, cheeks.
Puddles fill her eyes
And drip to the floor,
Leaving echoes
Of melancholic non harmonic symphonies
Of swirling sounds
As the room spins around
Faster than her mind
And she is crying once more…
"When does this end?" she screams
Without volume,
But with every bit of intensity.
He takes her hand
And he feels helpless
As the preying cells continue
Their feeding on her body,
Relentlessly attacking their host
Because they can.
And I am on my knees again
Because it’s all I know to do.
~matthew eldridge
Monday, January 5, 2009
Mocha Heaven
I fondle the cup with my fingers,
The warmth protruding from her tightly-knit paper pores…
My senses stimulated at my fingertips.
Her sweet aroma wraps itself around my nose
And pulls me into her vises,
Forcing me to lift her, feel her, smell her, taste her…
At last, she meets my moist lips, hungry for her fluid
And she presses them open with a chocolate coffee kiss.
I close my eyes for the romance of it all
And take a deep breathe, still breathing
Her intoxicating fragrance,
Savoring the moment
And storing it for retrieval…
I drink her in…
I’m addicted…I’m in love…
Is it infatuation or is it full blown lust,
My chocolate, coffee romance…
Coffee beans dancing in my dreams
Chocolate calling me…
Acoustic guitar and folk lore
Songs that compliment
The flavor of the day
And I’m adjusted once more…
Another day of contentment and joy
As I meet my lover in the morn’
My chocolate coffee romance.
~matthew eldridge
The warmth protruding from her tightly-knit paper pores…
My senses stimulated at my fingertips.
Her sweet aroma wraps itself around my nose
And pulls me into her vises,
Forcing me to lift her, feel her, smell her, taste her…
At last, she meets my moist lips, hungry for her fluid
And she presses them open with a chocolate coffee kiss.
I close my eyes for the romance of it all
And take a deep breathe, still breathing
Her intoxicating fragrance,
Savoring the moment
And storing it for retrieval…
I drink her in…
I’m addicted…I’m in love…
Is it infatuation or is it full blown lust,
My chocolate, coffee romance…
Coffee beans dancing in my dreams
Chocolate calling me…
Acoustic guitar and folk lore
Songs that compliment
The flavor of the day
And I’m adjusted once more…
Another day of contentment and joy
As I meet my lover in the morn’
My chocolate coffee romance.
~matthew eldridge
Sunday, January 4, 2009
welcome!
I've wondered for some time if there was a specific place for writers to post their material in a blog-like manner for the world to see. I didn't just want ANY blogspace... I wanted one that all the "cool" writers frequented.. (okay, I know, that's an oxymoron - there's no such thing as a cool writer... except maybe a songwriter...). After checking out a number of published authors, I assumed that this was one of the main ones used.
Anyways - I'll be posting some stories, portions of stories, poetry, thoughts, etc. from time to time here. Oh, and I have a pen name for some of my more daring writings. If you ask me (and I'm in a good mood), I may just share it with you...
Blessings,
Matthew
Anyways - I'll be posting some stories, portions of stories, poetry, thoughts, etc. from time to time here. Oh, and I have a pen name for some of my more daring writings. If you ask me (and I'm in a good mood), I may just share it with you...
Blessings,
Matthew
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